1/23/10
Several dreams of calling up T and declaring love. Very centered around my actual shitty phone. The reception is weird. Switching back and forth from computer screen to phone. Vague communication but I'm determined to get through. He's surprised but takes it well. In the dream I'm not anxious but just sort of ready and feeling strong.
Towards the end of the night a clearer dream. I'm in college. I go from the hilly campus with a new girl friend, then we go second hand clothes shopping. There are gauzy curtains everywhere. I don't want anything for myself but when I get back to the dorm room I call the Conan O'Brien show and am put on the air. I offer to send Conan a pair of mint green checked pants I had seen there. He's playing it as a bit and I'm hilarious. I don't actually have the pants. I hang up and feel triumphant.
Some other people are around, baking. I sneak downstairs in the early morning to find my mother complaining that I want her to expand a dress I'd bought so my friend can fit into it. I refute this hotly. My stepfather has shaved his full Kenny Rogers beard into sort of a Hitler mustache and looks startled to see me speak so angrily.
Back upstairs I play trivia with some conservative old men and regale them with my knowledge about Gutsom Borglum.
About to call. Actually terrified.
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