12/30/09
I was on my way to see Saturday Night Live with O and was complaining that there weren't enough women in the cast.
I was seated at a big round table with my mother. Someone who was a stand in for JM was there and kept talking. I told him to shut up.
I go to meet P at his apartment, in a twisty, confusing series of streets. It reminds me of Providence. Clouds of colored smoke vent onto the street. P comes out of his apartment looking freshly scrubbed. We go to a nearby rooftop to read through his latest play. He starts reading it to me in a really hammy way and I start laughing when someone appears behind him on the roof. More and more people come out, a whole junior high school class.
On the rooftop are also a whole collection of Gossip Girl books. I pick one up and read the back. It's a bout a teenager's problem when she finds out her mom is having an affair with three generations of men.
Walking under a sweet gum tree. My boss is there and I identify the tree for her by the pom poms it grows. They're huge and exaggerated and soft instead of spiny.
I continue to enjoy mental fights with my ex JM. What a dick.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
My Family Goes To The Races; Tea Shop Catastrophes
12/29/09
The first half of the night all I got was the word "diverticulitis" which is from reading the very stupid Millroy The Magician by Paul Theroux before bed. Stick to travel writing, Paul.
My grandmother B, my aunt T, and my grandmother's farm manager J all came to visit New York for a racing event. They were staying at Columbus Circle. I hurried down from work to meet them. They're in a rented house surrounded by flowering catalpa trees. I see J, who is very dressed up in a red shirt and purple jacket. I wait at the house with my brother S while everyone else goes to gamble. My mother comes back giddy with triumph at winning. She's holding a bouquet and someone hands her another little one full of peonies. She takes them and puts the stems down the front of her shirt and arranges the blossoms so they make sort of a collar around her neck.
S shows me the game they were playing. It's like a pinball machine. Anthropomorphic greyhound characters bowl through a maze. It looks stupid and I'm scornful.
My cousin is there and throws a tantrum as he's being put to bed. We're all mortified.
We go to Aqueduct on a bus. I look at a map that shows Brooklyn connects to the south of Manhattan and Aqueduct is right at the top of Brooklyn, marked in a big yellow triangle. The bus is taking forever and J is getting nervous. T suggests that we charter the bus and go straight there but the bus driver is scornful. Again, we're all mortified.
On my way home, I stop by a coffee shop for a music show and wave at the friendly scruffy male baristas. I make friends with them and they say they'll bring me tea. One of them hands me a tea bag. It's like a little flat sponge that you toss into the water and it expands. When it touches my hand it starts growing and the feeling of movement surprises me and I scream. They reassure me. I feel close to them and they say that both of their parents are dying. I feel awful and don't know what to do. I hold both of their hands. They look at me like, big help.
A pest control advertisement. A cartoon of bedbugs being driven to smaller and smaller chambers in between layers of wood until the fat queen is crushed. It's gross.
This was a very good dream, all the parts interconnected. I even saw the bedbug ad on television in one of the places in the dream.
I liked the artificial map and game. I'm pretty pleased with my brain for coming up with that.
The emotional temperature of the dream was mostly anxious and weirded out but with an appreciation for all the beautiful things I was seeing. J did in fact come visit a few weeks ago and stayed at a hotel in Columbus Circle. We went and saw Wicked and talked about racing at Belmont. My grandmother doesn't actually raise racing horses and I've never been to a race. I think the reason my dream was set at Aqueduct (we didn't actually get there) was I was talking to 3 who is a racing fan and he had recently been there. I don't have a big craving to go see racing.
I think the anxiety from the dream centers around my aunt. She's a difficult person to be around.
I suspect the coffee house dream comes from my anxiety about having too many male friends in general, and wondering especially if 3 has anything like the interest I have in him. The coffee house itself was very beautiful. I loved the sponge tea bag. That was a neat detail.
The first half of the night all I got was the word "diverticulitis" which is from reading the very stupid Millroy The Magician by Paul Theroux before bed. Stick to travel writing, Paul.
My grandmother B, my aunt T, and my grandmother's farm manager J all came to visit New York for a racing event. They were staying at Columbus Circle. I hurried down from work to meet them. They're in a rented house surrounded by flowering catalpa trees. I see J, who is very dressed up in a red shirt and purple jacket. I wait at the house with my brother S while everyone else goes to gamble. My mother comes back giddy with triumph at winning. She's holding a bouquet and someone hands her another little one full of peonies. She takes them and puts the stems down the front of her shirt and arranges the blossoms so they make sort of a collar around her neck.
S shows me the game they were playing. It's like a pinball machine. Anthropomorphic greyhound characters bowl through a maze. It looks stupid and I'm scornful.
My cousin is there and throws a tantrum as he's being put to bed. We're all mortified.
We go to Aqueduct on a bus. I look at a map that shows Brooklyn connects to the south of Manhattan and Aqueduct is right at the top of Brooklyn, marked in a big yellow triangle. The bus is taking forever and J is getting nervous. T suggests that we charter the bus and go straight there but the bus driver is scornful. Again, we're all mortified.
On my way home, I stop by a coffee shop for a music show and wave at the friendly scruffy male baristas. I make friends with them and they say they'll bring me tea. One of them hands me a tea bag. It's like a little flat sponge that you toss into the water and it expands. When it touches my hand it starts growing and the feeling of movement surprises me and I scream. They reassure me. I feel close to them and they say that both of their parents are dying. I feel awful and don't know what to do. I hold both of their hands. They look at me like, big help.
A pest control advertisement. A cartoon of bedbugs being driven to smaller and smaller chambers in between layers of wood until the fat queen is crushed. It's gross.
This was a very good dream, all the parts interconnected. I even saw the bedbug ad on television in one of the places in the dream.
I liked the artificial map and game. I'm pretty pleased with my brain for coming up with that.
The emotional temperature of the dream was mostly anxious and weirded out but with an appreciation for all the beautiful things I was seeing. J did in fact come visit a few weeks ago and stayed at a hotel in Columbus Circle. We went and saw Wicked and talked about racing at Belmont. My grandmother doesn't actually raise racing horses and I've never been to a race. I think the reason my dream was set at Aqueduct (we didn't actually get there) was I was talking to 3 who is a racing fan and he had recently been there. I don't have a big craving to go see racing.
I think the anxiety from the dream centers around my aunt. She's a difficult person to be around.
I suspect the coffee house dream comes from my anxiety about having too many male friends in general, and wondering especially if 3 has anything like the interest I have in him. The coffee house itself was very beautiful. I loved the sponge tea bag. That was a neat detail.
Dinner Theater Murder; Lost At Morehouse; Leaves
12/31/09
Murder mystery dinner theater. Everyone thought it was this middle aged guy Sterling but it turned out to be his elderly lady friend. I felt proud for staying friends with Sterling even though everyone was accusing him.
We took a rental place near the theater for the show. A family normally lived there and we could see all their stuff around, like pictures from fishing trips and the marks on the doorframe to measure kids' heights. Standing in the hallway by the measurements there was a big mirror. I stood in front of the mirror and raised up on my toes to make myself taller. This increased my height by four feet until my head was brushing the ceiling. I felt smug.
Going to a japanese restaurant with young friends. Someone upset a dish of barbecued eel and I helped clean up the sauce.
Lost with my mom. We were reading a novel set at Morehouse college and we were trying to find someone's house (the character? the author) using the book. We stumbled into a building that we thought might be a college building but turned out to be a private house full of fancy furnishings and knick knacks. On our way out we argued about the best way to find ourselves. I wanted to use my phone and Kristie wanted to use a topographical map. We ran into a little man and stopped him for directions. He was very indignant and said that was his house. I felt he was being stupid and could lock it if he cared. I yelled back that I had eaten his roasted chicken too.
We found remarkable autumn leaves. Two of them stuck together and when they separated the image of one is imprinted on the other. They are rosy pink.
I'm missing the final section of this dream. I have just a vague impression of office setting and very nice neckties.
I really liked the part of the dream where I could stretch up on my feet and be enormously tall.
Murder mystery dinner theater. Everyone thought it was this middle aged guy Sterling but it turned out to be his elderly lady friend. I felt proud for staying friends with Sterling even though everyone was accusing him.
We took a rental place near the theater for the show. A family normally lived there and we could see all their stuff around, like pictures from fishing trips and the marks on the doorframe to measure kids' heights. Standing in the hallway by the measurements there was a big mirror. I stood in front of the mirror and raised up on my toes to make myself taller. This increased my height by four feet until my head was brushing the ceiling. I felt smug.
Going to a japanese restaurant with young friends. Someone upset a dish of barbecued eel and I helped clean up the sauce.
Lost with my mom. We were reading a novel set at Morehouse college and we were trying to find someone's house (the character? the author) using the book. We stumbled into a building that we thought might be a college building but turned out to be a private house full of fancy furnishings and knick knacks. On our way out we argued about the best way to find ourselves. I wanted to use my phone and Kristie wanted to use a topographical map. We ran into a little man and stopped him for directions. He was very indignant and said that was his house. I felt he was being stupid and could lock it if he cared. I yelled back that I had eaten his roasted chicken too.
We found remarkable autumn leaves. Two of them stuck together and when they separated the image of one is imprinted on the other. They are rosy pink.
I'm missing the final section of this dream. I have just a vague impression of office setting and very nice neckties.
I really liked the part of the dream where I could stretch up on my feet and be enormously tall.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Strange Mop; Cucumber Plant; Sweeping Up Cool Stuff
12/28/09
One of my first dreams that featured 3. I don't remember much but he was there.
Also a dream about TB, the first in a long time. I wanted to see him of course but I didn't feel desperate. In an empty high school? Talking about music.
I'm in a high school auditorium and we're putting on a show. I'm sitting near the middle while everyone is gathered around front as the director explains what's going on. I'm sort of the jack of all work for the show. I make suggestions on the script, help find costumes, and wrangle with the director when he tries to foist a fancy new mop on the janitor. The mop is a gray loop of cloth suspended over the stage. I become the janitor and insist on sleeping on the floor.
I'm in Providence or DC or Canada, somewhere associated with my dad. A neighbor has grown a cucumber plant that goes all the way across the sidewalk. My brother and I go around it, but then someone just cuts it out of the way. I'm sweeping and there's lots of weird crud on the ground. Lots of summer dresses and blocks of cheese and things I have to keep rescuing.
This wasn't an especially interesting dream, and it was sort of low key anxious, like I had chores to do that weren't getting done. Which doesn't actually make me anxious in waking life. Conversely, in the dream I was seeing two men who interest me and/or freak me out and while I was glad and a little sad in the dream, the emotions were vey tamped down.
One of my first dreams that featured 3. I don't remember much but he was there.
Also a dream about TB, the first in a long time. I wanted to see him of course but I didn't feel desperate. In an empty high school? Talking about music.
I'm in a high school auditorium and we're putting on a show. I'm sitting near the middle while everyone is gathered around front as the director explains what's going on. I'm sort of the jack of all work for the show. I make suggestions on the script, help find costumes, and wrangle with the director when he tries to foist a fancy new mop on the janitor. The mop is a gray loop of cloth suspended over the stage. I become the janitor and insist on sleeping on the floor.
I'm in Providence or DC or Canada, somewhere associated with my dad. A neighbor has grown a cucumber plant that goes all the way across the sidewalk. My brother and I go around it, but then someone just cuts it out of the way. I'm sweeping and there's lots of weird crud on the ground. Lots of summer dresses and blocks of cheese and things I have to keep rescuing.
This wasn't an especially interesting dream, and it was sort of low key anxious, like I had chores to do that weren't getting done. Which doesn't actually make me anxious in waking life. Conversely, in the dream I was seeing two men who interest me and/or freak me out and while I was glad and a little sad in the dream, the emotions were vey tamped down.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Portrait With Pig; Singing In Public; The Skeleton Game
12/27/09
I was reading a book and it was coming apart at the spine but I saw it as a movie. A Bruce Willis character is saving a child or a small animal. Lots of dull, snowy landscape.
I was researching the early life of a mysterious woman. There was a book on her famous escape, and the book had black and white pictures of the important people in her life, posed in tableaux with elaborate costumes and hair styles. In one of them, a tall elderly woman with long white hair in braids stands on a stone terrace. At her feet is a large pig.
P and I are talking about our writing projects. He's off to work with his brother. We're all standing on a subway platform that's across from a big suburban supermarket. He offers me something from a big bag that I think is a potato chip but it turns out to be a kind of crisp chocolate chip cookie called a "Ladybug". We get onto the train which is arranged in tiers like the seats of an outdoor stadium and we arrange all of our crap around--backbacks and cookies and bottles. We go to an outdoor restaurant where someone invites a slender black woman with platinum blond hair and a long cigarette holder to step out of her black and white picture and sing. I feel awkward. I haven't practiced and I'm worried about horning in, but everyone is singing. I join in briefly but I don't even know the words. I stand next to a tall girl who is singing the harmony part and I think glumly that I don't even know what notes I would sing.
There's a preview for a new video game based on those plastic hanging monkeys that link together. It has two clayamation boys, one black and one white, playing basketball in the clay tropics. One of them lies down on the court and peels off his own skin, revealing his clay skeleton. The other boy does the same and the skeletons get up and link together through rib cages and jaws. Suddenly it's a pile of tiny, real bones and I'm working with someone to sort them out. It's very frustrating. The bones are blobby rectangles, except for the skull bones, which snap together along the jaws.
I'm rubbing lotion onto my hands. They're very dry and covered with veins of white cracks. I can't feel the lotion but I watch it erase the dry flaking white streaks.
I climb into the bed in the basement in VA. Other people keep coming in and interrupting me as I try to nap.
This was a very visually beautiful dream. The elements probably come from the last couple of days in Virginia. I made chocolate chip cookies with some special chips my step-father had, which were extra large and on the cookies that came out symmetrical they looked like ladybugs.
We also saw Sherlock Holmes yesterday which had a scene with pigs in a slaughterhouse and of course ladies with elaborate hair. I only realized at the end of the movie that it was directed by Guy Ritchie, which would explain the pigs, the bareknuckle boxing, and the jump cuts that made me want to hurl. But it was a pretty entertaining movie.
The thing that impressed me most about this dream was that I could pick out both the melody and the harmony of the chorus that was singing. It's strange that I wasn't able to sing along. Where did the words come from? I can't remember if it was a real song that I recognized. Was it Blue Skies?
I was reading a book and it was coming apart at the spine but I saw it as a movie. A Bruce Willis character is saving a child or a small animal. Lots of dull, snowy landscape.
I was researching the early life of a mysterious woman. There was a book on her famous escape, and the book had black and white pictures of the important people in her life, posed in tableaux with elaborate costumes and hair styles. In one of them, a tall elderly woman with long white hair in braids stands on a stone terrace. At her feet is a large pig.
P and I are talking about our writing projects. He's off to work with his brother. We're all standing on a subway platform that's across from a big suburban supermarket. He offers me something from a big bag that I think is a potato chip but it turns out to be a kind of crisp chocolate chip cookie called a "Ladybug". We get onto the train which is arranged in tiers like the seats of an outdoor stadium and we arrange all of our crap around--backbacks and cookies and bottles. We go to an outdoor restaurant where someone invites a slender black woman with platinum blond hair and a long cigarette holder to step out of her black and white picture and sing. I feel awkward. I haven't practiced and I'm worried about horning in, but everyone is singing. I join in briefly but I don't even know the words. I stand next to a tall girl who is singing the harmony part and I think glumly that I don't even know what notes I would sing.
There's a preview for a new video game based on those plastic hanging monkeys that link together. It has two clayamation boys, one black and one white, playing basketball in the clay tropics. One of them lies down on the court and peels off his own skin, revealing his clay skeleton. The other boy does the same and the skeletons get up and link together through rib cages and jaws. Suddenly it's a pile of tiny, real bones and I'm working with someone to sort them out. It's very frustrating. The bones are blobby rectangles, except for the skull bones, which snap together along the jaws.
I'm rubbing lotion onto my hands. They're very dry and covered with veins of white cracks. I can't feel the lotion but I watch it erase the dry flaking white streaks.
I climb into the bed in the basement in VA. Other people keep coming in and interrupting me as I try to nap.
This was a very visually beautiful dream. The elements probably come from the last couple of days in Virginia. I made chocolate chip cookies with some special chips my step-father had, which were extra large and on the cookies that came out symmetrical they looked like ladybugs.
We also saw Sherlock Holmes yesterday which had a scene with pigs in a slaughterhouse and of course ladies with elaborate hair. I only realized at the end of the movie that it was directed by Guy Ritchie, which would explain the pigs, the bareknuckle boxing, and the jump cuts that made me want to hurl. But it was a pretty entertaining movie.
The thing that impressed me most about this dream was that I could pick out both the melody and the harmony of the chorus that was singing. It's strange that I wasn't able to sing along. Where did the words come from? I can't remember if it was a real song that I recognized. Was it Blue Skies?
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Tree Reading; Deli Scam
I was at the office working on a book about a mystery taking place at a bourgeois wedding. For some reason while I was reading it I was scaling an enormous coniferous tree. The bark was very thick and someone had carved holes in it big enough for my feet. I would thrust my feet in and climb up, my body perpendicular to the tree. I was pretty far up when my boss came out and asked how the book was. I described it and she wrinkled her nose and said there were a lot of wedding mystery books out there. Then we went to her garden and picked vegetables together. I remember some leafy green and lots of dill.
I was part of a pack of homeless children. It was my job to con deli men. I went in and started weeping and asking for sandwiches. He winked and said if he sold me the bread and cheese separately it would be cheaper. I was touched by his kindness. An older lady came in and rudely pre-empted my order and asked for an elaborately decorated cake ("Put a picture of a swinger on it, you know like a man of the world and then the edges should have violets with stems. And some fresh fruit.") The deli man pointed out my suffering and I looked in my purse and found a flower made of pineapple and strawberry.
I was in my high school theater and we were doing a show. I was mostly watching. It was a blast.
Well, except for the tree and the vegetables, that's pretty much my job. I think the vegetables might be related to an incident when I was about five. My boss's daughter was my best friend in kindergarten and we went to their country house and my friend showed me dill plants. I'd never had dill or bagels before. I'm not crazy about dill, but I loved seeing that enormous plant and my friend's excitement.
The deli scam reminds me of the book Homecoming. It's a YA book I only read this year because my client said it was a lot like her book. Which it is.
I was part of a pack of homeless children. It was my job to con deli men. I went in and started weeping and asking for sandwiches. He winked and said if he sold me the bread and cheese separately it would be cheaper. I was touched by his kindness. An older lady came in and rudely pre-empted my order and asked for an elaborately decorated cake ("Put a picture of a swinger on it, you know like a man of the world and then the edges should have violets with stems. And some fresh fruit.") The deli man pointed out my suffering and I looked in my purse and found a flower made of pineapple and strawberry.
I was in my high school theater and we were doing a show. I was mostly watching. It was a blast.
Well, except for the tree and the vegetables, that's pretty much my job. I think the vegetables might be related to an incident when I was about five. My boss's daughter was my best friend in kindergarten and we went to their country house and my friend showed me dill plants. I'd never had dill or bagels before. I'm not crazy about dill, but I loved seeing that enormous plant and my friend's excitement.
The deli scam reminds me of the book Homecoming. It's a YA book I only read this year because my client said it was a lot like her book. Which it is.
Face Bite; Subway
12/25/09
At a crowded party. I talk to two guys in passing. One of them in a velveteen sweater follows me and says he's in love with me. I let him kiss me, but suddenly he bites my face. I shout indignantly and hit him until he retreats. I leave the party.
Subway almost nightmare. I get on in an area I recognize as Manhattan, even though it's not really. Lots of gray and elevated rather than underground. It's very crowded and I realize that I've missed my stop. I decide to stay on and let it loop, but it keeps taking me in unexpected directions. I want to go to Brooklyn, but it keeps taking me South until we're not even on the island anymore, just a metal cobweb over icy water and rubble.
I dreamed this two nights ago and didn't have a chance to write it down. I know there was something pleasant after the subway dream. When I was half awake, I told myself that I was re-dreaming the party dream and revising it. There were similar details and I think the outcome was happier, but I can't remember it vividly. I just remember the sweater guy who went from sweet to feral. He had glasses too. That part wasn't really a bad dream because I triumphed over someone who had publicly done me wrong. The subway dream was pretty anxious, though. I am usually pretty comfortably navigating the subway. I've had dreams of being lost in my home cities, and it usually features construction and highways.
At a crowded party. I talk to two guys in passing. One of them in a velveteen sweater follows me and says he's in love with me. I let him kiss me, but suddenly he bites my face. I shout indignantly and hit him until he retreats. I leave the party.
Subway almost nightmare. I get on in an area I recognize as Manhattan, even though it's not really. Lots of gray and elevated rather than underground. It's very crowded and I realize that I've missed my stop. I decide to stay on and let it loop, but it keeps taking me in unexpected directions. I want to go to Brooklyn, but it keeps taking me South until we're not even on the island anymore, just a metal cobweb over icy water and rubble.
I dreamed this two nights ago and didn't have a chance to write it down. I know there was something pleasant after the subway dream. When I was half awake, I told myself that I was re-dreaming the party dream and revising it. There were similar details and I think the outcome was happier, but I can't remember it vividly. I just remember the sweater guy who went from sweet to feral. He had glasses too. That part wasn't really a bad dream because I triumphed over someone who had publicly done me wrong. The subway dream was pretty anxious, though. I am usually pretty comfortably navigating the subway. I've had dreams of being lost in my home cities, and it usually features construction and highways.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Map; Books & Bubblegum; Dog Rescue!
12-23-09
I'm in an unfamiliar countryside. It reminds me of Covey Island and the landscapes I was reading about in Isak Dinesan. I can see a map of the town hanging up behind and sometimes shifting to the ground. The borders are changing constantly. It's tan and blue and green. A young man has a fiancee but he falls in love with a girl in one of the cottages named Pea (pronounced Pia).
I'm sleepy. To refresh myself, I pick up a soft white poodle and mush my face into the fur of its back.
A and A are waiting for me in a dilapidated college rec room. They're annoyed that they've had to wait so long. "Why didn't you call me or make plans?"
"We knew you'd be here eventually," they explain.
In an old house, but it's a dorm for a sort of summer camp. I'm in a room on the mezzanine. J and a friend of his I don't know also have a room. We have lots of adventures--going to the local fast food store and talking about sci fi, getting books and giving them to the thugette who lives in our building, and my cell phone breaks. I worry about the phone--how will I make plans? J's friend kisses me when I have a mouth full of bubblegum. Later, he and J give me a bundle of precious books from an old professor at my college. His signature is just a bundle of fresh pasta. Included in the package, almost as an afterthought, are four antique pens, made of a alabaster and melamine. They have names and short slogans on them. They're very beautiful and I'm delighted with them. The friend is worried about keeping our romance a secret. I explained that J once told me he had a crush on me but other than that I don't care one way or another.
Outside of the dorm, some kids are tormenting a chihuahua by feeding it too much sugar and caffeine. I tenderly lay the sleeping dog on a chair arm. The kids pour coffee into the dog's mouth and I flip out and attack the two fat girls who are ring leaders. I bite one on the stomach and then run. I make it back to the dorm with plenty of time.
There's a book on how to use modern appliances to stop dinosaur related annoyances.
This was my ideal kind of dream, with lots of lush detail, romance, and connected narratives. And a fight. Some of my favorite themes were present, books and old houses, and I really enjoyed the map part of the dream. I liked watching the romance of the young man and Pea unfold from a distance. I didn't have a physical presence in that part of the dream.
I often dream of dogs, although I've never had one and don't have regular contact with them. I see them every day in the dog park. I looked at some dream dictionaries under dogs and was not really satisfied. http://dreamhawk.com/animald2.htm#dog
The dogs in my dreams are usually happy and friendly. Sometimes I'm rescuing them. I don't buy that they're stand ins for my sexuality because I have pretty explicitly sexy dreams. I'm usually glad to see the dogs though.
I'm interested in the part of the dream where I worried about telling J that his friend liked me. I tend to date within an extended network of friends since I don't like dating strangers. This leads to awkward situations sometimes. This wasn't really resolved in the dream, although in real life J has been anything but awkward and in fact asks me about my love life. It's on my mind, though. Over the past week I've seen both members of a married couple who have set me up with chums. I've been out with three of their friends and both remarked, not unkindly, that they were running out of eligible men for me and I felt like a dork.
The images that struck me most and made me happiest from the dream were the map and the pens.
I'm in an unfamiliar countryside. It reminds me of Covey Island and the landscapes I was reading about in Isak Dinesan. I can see a map of the town hanging up behind and sometimes shifting to the ground. The borders are changing constantly. It's tan and blue and green. A young man has a fiancee but he falls in love with a girl in one of the cottages named Pea (pronounced Pia).
I'm sleepy. To refresh myself, I pick up a soft white poodle and mush my face into the fur of its back.
A and A are waiting for me in a dilapidated college rec room. They're annoyed that they've had to wait so long. "Why didn't you call me or make plans?"
"We knew you'd be here eventually," they explain.
In an old house, but it's a dorm for a sort of summer camp. I'm in a room on the mezzanine. J and a friend of his I don't know also have a room. We have lots of adventures--going to the local fast food store and talking about sci fi, getting books and giving them to the thugette who lives in our building, and my cell phone breaks. I worry about the phone--how will I make plans? J's friend kisses me when I have a mouth full of bubblegum. Later, he and J give me a bundle of precious books from an old professor at my college. His signature is just a bundle of fresh pasta. Included in the package, almost as an afterthought, are four antique pens, made of a alabaster and melamine. They have names and short slogans on them. They're very beautiful and I'm delighted with them. The friend is worried about keeping our romance a secret. I explained that J once told me he had a crush on me but other than that I don't care one way or another.
Outside of the dorm, some kids are tormenting a chihuahua by feeding it too much sugar and caffeine. I tenderly lay the sleeping dog on a chair arm. The kids pour coffee into the dog's mouth and I flip out and attack the two fat girls who are ring leaders. I bite one on the stomach and then run. I make it back to the dorm with plenty of time.
There's a book on how to use modern appliances to stop dinosaur related annoyances.
This was my ideal kind of dream, with lots of lush detail, romance, and connected narratives. And a fight. Some of my favorite themes were present, books and old houses, and I really enjoyed the map part of the dream. I liked watching the romance of the young man and Pea unfold from a distance. I didn't have a physical presence in that part of the dream.
I often dream of dogs, although I've never had one and don't have regular contact with them. I see them every day in the dog park. I looked at some dream dictionaries under dogs and was not really satisfied. http://dreamhawk.com/animald2.htm#dog
The dogs in my dreams are usually happy and friendly. Sometimes I'm rescuing them. I don't buy that they're stand ins for my sexuality because I have pretty explicitly sexy dreams. I'm usually glad to see the dogs though.
I'm interested in the part of the dream where I worried about telling J that his friend liked me. I tend to date within an extended network of friends since I don't like dating strangers. This leads to awkward situations sometimes. This wasn't really resolved in the dream, although in real life J has been anything but awkward and in fact asks me about my love life. It's on my mind, though. Over the past week I've seen both members of a married couple who have set me up with chums. I've been out with three of their friends and both remarked, not unkindly, that they were running out of eligible men for me and I felt like a dork.
The images that struck me most and made me happiest from the dream were the map and the pens.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Scheming Wife; Fashion Sucks; Mouse Movies
12/22/09
The dream was like a movie. It was about a successful business guy at a garden party who little knew his wife and architecture partner had been getting together for four years. They talked on the phone and the wife and partner made a plan to get rid of the husband. It backfired somehow and instead Danny Devito gets buried in an open grave but he popped up and the police took him in to a doctor, who said he was in great shape. Danny Devito did a bunch of bench presses to show how healthy he was.
In a college class on fashion. We also had to read a manuscript at work that was accompanied by a glossy magazine of the heroine dressed up in hundreds of different magazines. The novel was unbearable.
Back to the movies. I watched an amazing three dimensional preview from a mouse's point of view. Giant looming plants and food. Everything was lush and beautifully colored.
The dream was like a movie. It was about a successful business guy at a garden party who little knew his wife and architecture partner had been getting together for four years. They talked on the phone and the wife and partner made a plan to get rid of the husband. It backfired somehow and instead Danny Devito gets buried in an open grave but he popped up and the police took him in to a doctor, who said he was in great shape. Danny Devito did a bunch of bench presses to show how healthy he was.
In a college class on fashion. We also had to read a manuscript at work that was accompanied by a glossy magazine of the heroine dressed up in hundreds of different magazines. The novel was unbearable.
Back to the movies. I watched an amazing three dimensional preview from a mouse's point of view. Giant looming plants and food. Everything was lush and beautifully colored.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Sucky Waking Up Dream
12/21/09
Can't remember much at all. I woke up at 7:20 and rolled over for a half hour of sleep. O and two of his friends are crashing in the basement in Virginia, and we all wake up and turn off the alarm. I reluctantly crawl out of my sleeping bag. On my way up the stairs, I see a stack of old gloves of my mother's and plan on filching a pair later. In the kitchen, my mother asks me if I've heard about the Clinton prescription scandal. Then I wake up for real and it sucks.
Can't remember much at all. I woke up at 7:20 and rolled over for a half hour of sleep. O and two of his friends are crashing in the basement in Virginia, and we all wake up and turn off the alarm. I reluctantly crawl out of my sleeping bag. On my way up the stairs, I see a stack of old gloves of my mother's and plan on filching a pair later. In the kitchen, my mother asks me if I've heard about the Clinton prescription scandal. Then I wake up for real and it sucks.
Belt and Well; Gas Station Bogeyman; Brooklyn Bridge; Mirror Play
12/20/09
I do a reading but demur on reading my own book and read from M's instead. It's a comic book and I feel like a dork for backing out of reading of my own work. It's awkward describing the drawings in the story to the audience.
M, J and I go to the drugstore for toothpaste. I'm suddenly drunk and lurching around, trying to get to the fancy flavored stuff. There's a loutish man in my way and we get into an argument. I challenge him to fight. M and J are worried but I pin the man on the ground and use his belt to tie him up. His belt is very short and I have to try several configurations before I can secure all his limbs. I stuff a cube of maggotty butter in his mouth and throw him down a well. I worry a little that I'll get into trouble but forget about it.
I'm watching P's staged reading of his screenplay. It's a romantic farce at a gas station. Everyone is kissing. Suddenly from a box in the back a character bursts out. It's the guy I threw in the well, who I now see is someone everyone knows about, a bogeyman. The monster is supposed to be missing his right arm and I see the actor has put a black tube sock on his arm to make it invisible against the black curtain. I am relieved. Big applause.
Walking home over the Brooklyn Bridge in a huge crowd of people. I'm climbing over fragile wooden framework when someone behind me shouts "Hey, you gave me the fake name Emily and the wrong phone number when we met in the Beauty Bar." He catches up and I feel slightly bad for tricking him. I agree to take him to a party. It's at M and J's place. It's green, blue and white, and there are floor to ceiling bookshelves in all the rooms. A stoned guy talks to us and he holds up a mirror. Instead of seeing myself in the mirror, I see a play about a pasha and his harem.
This was a very enjoyable dream. I love dreams where I have super strength. Throughout the rest of the dream, I felt like I had power over everything that happened. I was arrogant with the guy who was trying to pick me up. It was also very beautiful. Again with the fragile dark wood and the books.
P actually did do a staged reading of his screenplay. It was about a rock star and was quite funny.
I do a reading but demur on reading my own book and read from M's instead. It's a comic book and I feel like a dork for backing out of reading of my own work. It's awkward describing the drawings in the story to the audience.
M, J and I go to the drugstore for toothpaste. I'm suddenly drunk and lurching around, trying to get to the fancy flavored stuff. There's a loutish man in my way and we get into an argument. I challenge him to fight. M and J are worried but I pin the man on the ground and use his belt to tie him up. His belt is very short and I have to try several configurations before I can secure all his limbs. I stuff a cube of maggotty butter in his mouth and throw him down a well. I worry a little that I'll get into trouble but forget about it.
I'm watching P's staged reading of his screenplay. It's a romantic farce at a gas station. Everyone is kissing. Suddenly from a box in the back a character bursts out. It's the guy I threw in the well, who I now see is someone everyone knows about, a bogeyman. The monster is supposed to be missing his right arm and I see the actor has put a black tube sock on his arm to make it invisible against the black curtain. I am relieved. Big applause.
Walking home over the Brooklyn Bridge in a huge crowd of people. I'm climbing over fragile wooden framework when someone behind me shouts "Hey, you gave me the fake name Emily and the wrong phone number when we met in the Beauty Bar." He catches up and I feel slightly bad for tricking him. I agree to take him to a party. It's at M and J's place. It's green, blue and white, and there are floor to ceiling bookshelves in all the rooms. A stoned guy talks to us and he holds up a mirror. Instead of seeing myself in the mirror, I see a play about a pasha and his harem.
This was a very enjoyable dream. I love dreams where I have super strength. Throughout the rest of the dream, I felt like I had power over everything that happened. I was arrogant with the guy who was trying to pick me up. It was also very beautiful. Again with the fragile dark wood and the books.
P actually did do a staged reading of his screenplay. It was about a rock star and was quite funny.
I Will Totally...; Party/Operation; You're Crazy; Staircase
12/19/09
More domestic disturbances--
I was on the show Glee and was a ravishing tomboy who had befriended the beautiful blond cheerleader Quinn. Her mom went to the teacher and complained. I yelled across the room "I promise not to fuck your daughter!" thinking "I will totally fuck her if I get the chance." Also, I helped Artie play the drums.
At my grandmother's, she told me the best I was wearing was ugly. I took it off and was angry. It was ugly, but it was her belt. I run through torrential rain and into a cocktail party on the sandy spit of the creek bed near her house. The party turns into an operating theater. A skilled doctor and his apprentice are working on a patient. The apprentice fails to tie a suture correctly. It's made of latex and the knot looks like the knot of a balloon. His mentor catches him and scolds him.
I run into my cousin H at the airport. She is wearing a bizarre shawl and has her long hair in ringlets. I greet her and she calls me by her sister's name . I yell at her "I'm your cousin, not your sister" and realize she's become catatonic or crazy and as she goes up an escalator, I yell at her that she can't be a doctor anymore because she can't tie sutures correctly.
A romantic liaison with O on the staircase of the house in Virginia.
I remember this dream very vividly. It was an interesting and satisfying dream. Some elements are probably imported from life but some are pretty far out there. It's my aunt and not my cousin who is crazy.
I've had lots of drumming dreams recently too. Usually the high hat is falling apart or made of something unsuitable like a china plate. But the dreams are still satisfying. This might be because I have a new housemate who seems to be learning how to play the drums and practices a lot.
When I do have sexy dreams, they usually take place in tilted or skewed spaces.
More domestic disturbances--
I was on the show Glee and was a ravishing tomboy who had befriended the beautiful blond cheerleader Quinn. Her mom went to the teacher and complained. I yelled across the room "I promise not to fuck your daughter!" thinking "I will totally fuck her if I get the chance." Also, I helped Artie play the drums.
At my grandmother's, she told me the best I was wearing was ugly. I took it off and was angry. It was ugly, but it was her belt. I run through torrential rain and into a cocktail party on the sandy spit of the creek bed near her house. The party turns into an operating theater. A skilled doctor and his apprentice are working on a patient. The apprentice fails to tie a suture correctly. It's made of latex and the knot looks like the knot of a balloon. His mentor catches him and scolds him.
I run into my cousin H at the airport. She is wearing a bizarre shawl and has her long hair in ringlets. I greet her and she calls me by her sister's name . I yell at her "I'm your cousin, not your sister" and realize she's become catatonic or crazy and as she goes up an escalator, I yell at her that she can't be a doctor anymore because she can't tie sutures correctly.
A romantic liaison with O on the staircase of the house in Virginia.
I remember this dream very vividly. It was an interesting and satisfying dream. Some elements are probably imported from life but some are pretty far out there. It's my aunt and not my cousin who is crazy.
I've had lots of drumming dreams recently too. Usually the high hat is falling apart or made of something unsuitable like a china plate. But the dreams are still satisfying. This might be because I have a new housemate who seems to be learning how to play the drums and practices a lot.
When I do have sexy dreams, they usually take place in tilted or skewed spaces.
Reluctant Students; Stacking Saints; Book Show
12/18/09
Troubled by a possible problem at work, I had a lousy night's sleep.
I was trying to teach writing to some indifferent teenagers. I got a very nice edition of a book and gave it to an especially recalcitrant student. It had a beautiful photograph on the cover and gilt edges. She was skeptical and I later found she and another student were planning to sell their books.
I was in a church-like space, and there was a building block type puzzle made of little figurines of a Saint. They stacked like Legos or Linkin Logs, with fitting parts. They were made of dark wood and were very beautiful. They could be built into a tiny cathedral. One monk was sick or possessed and he broke the glass in a dusty diorama of saints eating. He flailed, breaking a fragile wooden bench, and I threw a blanket over him to subdue him.
I was having a book talk on television with M about a YA novel I'm working on at work. The show's house band is a bunch of surly women with lots of heavy make-up. I recognize 3's old band.
I'm beginning to notice that I dream a lot about spaces with dark wood, and especially pieces of fragile furniture made of dark wood. My own room is furnished with light wood and while the pieces are small they're pretty solid. The theme of books is also strong. Especially when I dream of M, who is a woman I would like to befriend.
This was a very visually beautiful dream but I spent most of it quite anxious, maybe reflecting my actual mood. The snafu at work was actually worked out without a wrinkle.
Troubled by a possible problem at work, I had a lousy night's sleep.
I was trying to teach writing to some indifferent teenagers. I got a very nice edition of a book and gave it to an especially recalcitrant student. It had a beautiful photograph on the cover and gilt edges. She was skeptical and I later found she and another student were planning to sell their books.
I was in a church-like space, and there was a building block type puzzle made of little figurines of a Saint. They stacked like Legos or Linkin Logs, with fitting parts. They were made of dark wood and were very beautiful. They could be built into a tiny cathedral. One monk was sick or possessed and he broke the glass in a dusty diorama of saints eating. He flailed, breaking a fragile wooden bench, and I threw a blanket over him to subdue him.
I was having a book talk on television with M about a YA novel I'm working on at work. The show's house band is a bunch of surly women with lots of heavy make-up. I recognize 3's old band.
I'm beginning to notice that I dream a lot about spaces with dark wood, and especially pieces of fragile furniture made of dark wood. My own room is furnished with light wood and while the pieces are small they're pretty solid. The theme of books is also strong. Especially when I dream of M, who is a woman I would like to befriend.
This was a very visually beautiful dream but I spent most of it quite anxious, maybe reflecting my actual mood. The snafu at work was actually worked out without a wrinkle.
H's New Acting Career; Towels; Nap Victory
H. wondered if she should quit her job acting in a sopa opera and take a more fulfilling role, but she was worried if she could go back if it flopped. I offered her a place to crash. I was the landlady of a big rambling house.
I was doing laundry and forgot to put money in the dryer. The towels came out just cold at first, but then a little damp and finally sopping wet as I realized my mistake.
While visiting my brother and sister in law, S&E, I took a nap. The bed is surrounded by pictures of my niece, Little S. My stepmother L came to wake me gently. I didn't want to get up so she climbed in bed with me.
In the kitchen in Virginia, S, my stepfather T and I are eating something rich and delicious--chestnuts? Truffles?
Parkling lot? Road Trip?
H. is my old college roommate. She actually is an actress and she herself is the landlady (or super?) of a building her folks own.
Lots of step parents in this sequence. My parents were both remarried by the time I was ten and I get along with S and T quite well.
I remember the sections with the towels and then napping the best. The towel dream was exasperating but beautifully detailed. My towels were very realistic. I recently bought white and blue towels and the colors are still very bright and I'm kind of proud of them. The nap dream was superb. I was in a cozy cave of a room in a small child's bed and my stepmother, who can be a little bossy, was very sweet and gentle in the dream and I was pleased I could get her to cave and take a nap too rather than make me get up.
I was doing laundry and forgot to put money in the dryer. The towels came out just cold at first, but then a little damp and finally sopping wet as I realized my mistake.
While visiting my brother and sister in law, S&E, I took a nap. The bed is surrounded by pictures of my niece, Little S. My stepmother L came to wake me gently. I didn't want to get up so she climbed in bed with me.
In the kitchen in Virginia, S, my stepfather T and I are eating something rich and delicious--chestnuts? Truffles?
Parkling lot? Road Trip?
H. is my old college roommate. She actually is an actress and she herself is the landlady (or super?) of a building her folks own.
Lots of step parents in this sequence. My parents were both remarried by the time I was ten and I get along with S and T quite well.
I remember the sections with the towels and then napping the best. The towel dream was exasperating but beautifully detailed. My towels were very realistic. I recently bought white and blue towels and the colors are still very bright and I'm kind of proud of them. The nap dream was superb. I was in a cozy cave of a room in a small child's bed and my stepmother, who can be a little bossy, was very sweet and gentle in the dream and I was pleased I could get her to cave and take a nap too rather than make me get up.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
I Can't Leave China; Extra Hell; Hey That's Not Tom Petty
12-16-09
I was trying to leave China and it was nearly impossible. I had a packed suitcase and I was waiting with my brother. We were children. I bought trail mix at the corner store and the shopkeeper asked me to give the English translation of a set of directions written in sort of mangled han zi characters. I said I could only recognize one, mountain.
We finally seemed to leave but got taken to Hell instead. I had to play cards, competing with a glamorous woman and grizzled man. The face cards were decorated with very realistic looking people, wearing rubies and diamonds. We each played with six cards and had to match up pairs against each other and I had a jack, queen and king. I knew the man had queens, kings and aces. He offered a trip to a casino to see a show and I quipped back at him that if he wanted to leave his hand must not be good. There was an advertisement for the show in big letters made of cacti.
Still in hell- walking down a carpeted hall and a man and woman decide to go to "Extra Hell" so they can always be together. Men gets head cut off (I don't watch) and girl bravely, stupidly, decides to drwon herself in the giant jar of formalin that she will be preserved in (I don't watch but I see the result.)
Also in the club, I meet Tom Petty and we flirt. He asks me about my romantic past and we run into my ex at the subway and I babble awkwardly and introduce them.
My friend B. and I get snacks and drinks together. I excuse myself to the restroom only to find the toilet overflowing with garbage, including an empty ice cream carton. I have to clean it out some.
I don't remember much of this dream five days later. I remember the woman's body crammed awkwardly in the giant jar, and what the cards looked like. I knew I was going to lose at the card game but I didn't care, which usually isn't the case--I'm not great at games but I hate losing.
I lived in China for almost a year and although it was a perfectly straightforward, prebooked flight home, I couldn't quite believe I'd be able to get back. The character for mountain in the dream was actually pretty accurate.
My brother and I did travel a lot unaccompanied when we were little. Our first solo international flight was when I was five and he was six.
I had been reading about Tom Petty in Rolling Stone before sleeping that night. The guy in my dream wasn't Tom Petty, though. He looked more like Matthew Sweet, who was on the radio a lot when I was hearing Tom Petty for the first time when I was about fourteen.
I was trying to leave China and it was nearly impossible. I had a packed suitcase and I was waiting with my brother. We were children. I bought trail mix at the corner store and the shopkeeper asked me to give the English translation of a set of directions written in sort of mangled han zi characters. I said I could only recognize one, mountain.
We finally seemed to leave but got taken to Hell instead. I had to play cards, competing with a glamorous woman and grizzled man. The face cards were decorated with very realistic looking people, wearing rubies and diamonds. We each played with six cards and had to match up pairs against each other and I had a jack, queen and king. I knew the man had queens, kings and aces. He offered a trip to a casino to see a show and I quipped back at him that if he wanted to leave his hand must not be good. There was an advertisement for the show in big letters made of cacti.
Still in hell- walking down a carpeted hall and a man and woman decide to go to "Extra Hell" so they can always be together. Men gets head cut off (I don't watch) and girl bravely, stupidly, decides to drwon herself in the giant jar of formalin that she will be preserved in (I don't watch but I see the result.)
Also in the club, I meet Tom Petty and we flirt. He asks me about my romantic past and we run into my ex at the subway and I babble awkwardly and introduce them.
My friend B. and I get snacks and drinks together. I excuse myself to the restroom only to find the toilet overflowing with garbage, including an empty ice cream carton. I have to clean it out some.
I don't remember much of this dream five days later. I remember the woman's body crammed awkwardly in the giant jar, and what the cards looked like. I knew I was going to lose at the card game but I didn't care, which usually isn't the case--I'm not great at games but I hate losing.
I lived in China for almost a year and although it was a perfectly straightforward, prebooked flight home, I couldn't quite believe I'd be able to get back. The character for mountain in the dream was actually pretty accurate.
My brother and I did travel a lot unaccompanied when we were little. Our first solo international flight was when I was five and he was six.
I had been reading about Tom Petty in Rolling Stone before sleeping that night. The guy in my dream wasn't Tom Petty, though. He looked more like Matthew Sweet, who was on the radio a lot when I was hearing Tom Petty for the first time when I was about fourteen.
Ice Cream Parlor; Trees; Mezzanine
I was visiting a fancy ice cream parlor. Or at least it had once been fancy. There were pretty girls working there wearing uniforms but they were bored and a little snarky. But they got excited when I explained how much I like ice cream and they served me something called "The Maggie" with brownies, balls of ice cream and crepes to wrap it all in. It was bedecked with flags.
There was an old man who felt selfish for having too many trees. He had eighteen saplings. I laughed and told him that it's not too many trees.
Connected to a dream about my mother in an arboretum? In the summer we often visit the Flagstaff Arboretum.
A running contest was staged around the mezzanine of an old hotel. There's a big crowd of people but I'm doing pretty well. I stop to help a young Asian woman who is lost. She resembles a high school friend of mine, Keimei. We lost touch when we graduated. I think she went to Smith and went into an arranged Unificationist marriage.
Dinner party with my college friend Jen, Stephanie and Rachel. We talk about children.
Helping a thuggish young woman move.
The marching band takes the field!
Looking back on this dream, I see a lot of images of things falling apart and doing badly, and helping. Mostly in the dream I help young women. Lots of lavish detail about places and buildings. The old hotel was lovely. Dark wood and sumptuous rugs on the stairs.
I wrote down the dream as soon as I woke up, but now, almost a week later, I can't actually remember the last few episodes, the dinner party, the move and the band. The rest are still vivid, especially the hotel race.
There was an old man who felt selfish for having too many trees. He had eighteen saplings. I laughed and told him that it's not too many trees.
Connected to a dream about my mother in an arboretum? In the summer we often visit the Flagstaff Arboretum.
A running contest was staged around the mezzanine of an old hotel. There's a big crowd of people but I'm doing pretty well. I stop to help a young Asian woman who is lost. She resembles a high school friend of mine, Keimei. We lost touch when we graduated. I think she went to Smith and went into an arranged Unificationist marriage.
Dinner party with my college friend Jen, Stephanie and Rachel. We talk about children.
Helping a thuggish young woman move.
The marching band takes the field!
Looking back on this dream, I see a lot of images of things falling apart and doing badly, and helping. Mostly in the dream I help young women. Lots of lavish detail about places and buildings. The old hotel was lovely. Dark wood and sumptuous rugs on the stairs.
I wrote down the dream as soon as I woke up, but now, almost a week later, I can't actually remember the last few episodes, the dinner party, the move and the band. The rest are still vivid, especially the hotel race.
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