The Girl Who Lost Her Face

2/22/10

I was running late for work, trying to get dressed and make breakfast. I made a sandwich and had to round up clean clothes. And at the last minute I went to the LOC or a museum instead. It was great playing hooky. There was a boy with Down's syndrome there who was being insulted by some guy. Someone--not sure if it was me?--defends the child.

Tim is there. We gloat over missing work and look at art in the small blond wood building.

I read a magazine with a feature about celebrities recognizing themselves sleeping. There's a mongolian actress named Minnow and I can read her name in Mandarin.

I see a movie of the Beatles dancing. They're wearing hats made of thatched flowers and weeds.

There's a cult leader visiting a compound while his acolytes are trying to bake. For some reason they'll be in big trouble if they're caught in the act of baking. We throw flour and mixing bowls into cabinets and the oven at top speed. I think they're idiots.

I walk down a sidewalk in a sort of art fair with a big gruff looking but handsome man. We talk about a folk tale called "The Girl Who Lost Her Face". I feel very clever. I think I have a crush on the guy.

I'm at one of the booths at the fair. The boss guy in a watch cap won't let his girl assistant go to the bathroom. I offer to take over while she takes a break. The boss is smug and obnoxious. I finally call him a twerp, assuring him that I know the real meaning of the word.

I'm with a female friend who I don't recognize. We're playing out a scene I know has already happened. She was mauled by a mountain lion. We each have a beautiful cage-like bed, with a metal grille. We have the implements to lock them, fat, clumsy ornamented locks that slip over the open prongs of the grille. I'm having trouble weaving the metal together and I know hers is worse. We're running out of time and I urge her to get into my bed but she won't.

Young Man Pining; Stone Bull; Skating

2/6/10

I dream about James, a young friend of a friend. He's pining for me. We're in his parents' house, which is also a high class antique store. I play with various knick knacks and look at paintings. I'm really struck by a small sculpture made of jade or agate or some translucent stone. It's of a bull with a long chain wrapped around it. The chain's links are individually carved and you can move it and shake it and pull it tighter. James tries to embrace me. He's holding my arms.

I move to a seat and see Alex. He tells me almost accusingly that he's in love with me too.

I try to get away. I put on roller skates. I'm in the cul de sacs around my neighborhood. The roads are made of polished wood, and there are huge polished wooden gates leading down my road. I push them aside. I skate down the hill and see the smaller gates to my house. I make an elegant turning stop right in front. It's like I have supernatural powers of skating.

Tabloid Re-enactment; Rooftop; Jewels

1/17/10

I didn't write this down as soon as I woke up, so it's all scrambled and makes even less sense than usual.

A cheap film maker was making a recreation of a tabloid magazine's report of a kidnapped girl. She was kidnapped by satanists. It pretty much meant everyone dressed up in Conan the Barbarian type of leather underwear and red make up. I felt appalled for a minute but then realized the girl probably never even existed.

Chasing someone over the rooftops of a city building? Hiding something? Being chased?

In the house, getting ready to move or to sell stuff. I look through old boxes of jewelery. My mother is around, anxious. I find pendants made of onyx and agate, sort of mini obilisks. I also find lots of old glasses. I greedily pick through the pile of glasses and swap out my beaten-up case for a blue suede one.

I wish I could have remembered this better. I woke up sick today, though.

White Rose; School Theatricals; Shopping For Glass

1/6/10

Going on a trip. Bundling kids into a van

Visiting a boyfriend at the cafeteria of a big business or college. I don't recognize who the boyfriend was, but he was nerdy. We have lunch with two friends, British brothers named Tom and Sam who think I'm funny. Go back to bf's house and kiss but when it's time for sex I insist on a condom. He's holding a white rose. I'm not sure if the rose is intended for me or if he's in love with the rose himself. He refuses to have sex and I'm terribly upset. I go upstairs where he has a row of old boom boxes.

In a class. I look at an old picture of grade school. We're in a school theater--makeshift out of the cafeteria or something. Student groups present skits. They're wearing beautiful clothes from a costume box. Old tablecloths and curtains with beautiful patterns are folded into tunics and robes. I am watching myself in a skit. It's about a time traveling black kid.

I babysit my niece. She wants me to read Where The Wild Things Are.

I go to a big department store. It's like a cross between a sketchy discount store like Ocean State Job Lot and H&M or something. The front is a grocery store and I compare the price of broccoli raab. In the display is a tiny Christmas tree decorated with a sparkling boot. I wander into the clothing section and go to try on a blouse when I find I've taken off my pants. I manage to get them back on and abandon the clothes for a section of the store that's a junk shop. I find boxes full of bottles made of Roman glass and old boxes of film.

This dream had some anxiety but the colors and patterns were very beautiful. At the end, the Roman glass was the most spectacular. It's old glass that's semi-melted or something and has an iridescent sheen to it.

For some reason, when I dream of school, which I do a fair amount, the students are always middle school aged black kids. I used to teach at a non-profit and while my students were almost all black, they were my age.

Gold Canyon; Tea Party/Raft; Dog Shelter

1/4/10

I'm looking down into a parched canyon full of gold coins as the dialogue from "The Worshipful Lucia" all about investing in gold mines goes on. Piles of coins rise and fall. It's very beautiful but I feel like it's going to lead to trouble.

I go to M's for tea. My father is there too and my friend S. Actually, I can't tell if it's M's place or S's. I don't recognize it. I put tea in my new thermos, my dad sets up a tray with china mugs after cleaning them out. S talks about her troubles with her new boyfriend and M asks if I'm mad at her. I tell her no, I'm just anxious because I told her something I shouldn't have. We take a raft up the coast. The water is incredibly busy. I keep expecting us to smack into the other boats. Instead, I seem to be floating up off the raft. I reach down and grab the hand of some friendly girls who are also floating by. I'm restored to my raft.

I meet my grandmother by the dog rescue.

One of those wretched "I'm awake let me just make myself a sandwich and a cup of tea and stumble out the door" dreams.

A pretty dream but definitely showing real anxieties. I did in fact tell M something I shouldn't have. And I have to go to work after five days of sleeping in. Suck.

Map; Books & Bubblegum; Dog Rescue!

12-23-09

I'm in an unfamiliar countryside. It reminds me of Covey Island and the landscapes I was reading about in Isak Dinesan. I can see a map of the town hanging up behind and sometimes shifting to the ground. The borders are changing constantly. It's tan and blue and green. A young man has a fiancee but he falls in love with a girl in one of the cottages named Pea (pronounced Pia).

I'm sleepy. To refresh myself, I pick up a soft white poodle and mush my face into the fur of its back.

A and A are waiting for me in a dilapidated college rec room. They're annoyed that they've had to wait so long. "Why didn't you call me or make plans?"
"We knew you'd be here eventually," they explain.

In an old house, but it's a dorm for a sort of summer camp. I'm in a room on the mezzanine. J and a friend of his I don't know also have a room. We have lots of adventures--going to the local fast food store and talking about sci fi, getting books and giving them to the thugette who lives in our building, and my cell phone breaks. I worry about the phone--how will I make plans? J's friend kisses me when I have a mouth full of bubblegum. Later, he and J give me a bundle of precious books from an old professor at my college. His signature is just a bundle of fresh pasta. Included in the package, almost as an afterthought, are four antique pens, made of a alabaster and melamine. They have names and short slogans on them. They're very beautiful and I'm delighted with them. The friend is worried about keeping our romance a secret. I explained that J once told me he had a crush on me but other than that I don't care one way or another.

Outside of the dorm, some kids are tormenting a chihuahua by feeding it too much sugar and caffeine. I tenderly lay the sleeping dog on a chair arm. The kids pour coffee into the dog's mouth and I flip out and attack the two fat girls who are ring leaders. I bite one on the stomach and then run. I make it back to the dorm with plenty of time.

There's a book on how to use modern appliances to stop dinosaur related annoyances.

This was my ideal kind of dream, with lots of lush detail, romance, and connected narratives. And a fight. Some of my favorite themes were present, books and old houses, and I really enjoyed the map part of the dream. I liked watching the romance of the young man and Pea unfold from a distance. I didn't have a physical presence in that part of the dream.

I often dream of dogs, although I've never had one and don't have regular contact with them. I see them every day in the dog park. I looked at some dream dictionaries under dogs and was not really satisfied. http://dreamhawk.com/animald2.htm#dog
The dogs in my dreams are usually happy and friendly. Sometimes I'm rescuing them. I don't buy that they're stand ins for my sexuality because I have pretty explicitly sexy dreams. I'm usually glad to see the dogs though.

I'm interested in the part of the dream where I worried about telling J that his friend liked me. I tend to date within an extended network of friends since I don't like dating strangers. This leads to awkward situations sometimes. This wasn't really resolved in the dream, although in real life J has been anything but awkward and in fact asks me about my love life. It's on my mind, though. Over the past week I've seen both members of a married couple who have set me up with chums. I've been out with three of their friends and both remarked, not unkindly, that they were running out of eligible men for me and I felt like a dork.

The images that struck me most and made me happiest from the dream were the map and the pens.

I Can't Leave China; Extra Hell; Hey That's Not Tom Petty

12-16-09

I was trying to leave China and it was nearly impossible. I had a packed suitcase and I was waiting with my brother. We were children. I bought trail mix at the corner store and the shopkeeper asked me to give the English translation of a set of directions written in sort of mangled han zi characters. I said I could only recognize one, mountain.

We finally seemed to leave but got taken to Hell instead. I had to play cards, competing with a glamorous woman and grizzled man. The face cards were decorated with very realistic looking people, wearing rubies and diamonds. We each played with six cards and had to match up pairs against each other and I had a jack, queen and king. I knew the man had queens, kings and aces. He offered a trip to a casino to see a show and I quipped back at him that if he wanted to leave his hand must not be good. There was an advertisement for the show in big letters made of cacti.

Still in hell- walking down a carpeted hall and a man and woman decide to go to "Extra Hell" so they can always be together. Men gets head cut off (I don't watch) and girl bravely, stupidly, decides to drwon herself in the giant jar of formalin that she will be preserved in (I don't watch but I see the result.)

Also in the club, I meet Tom Petty and we flirt. He asks me about my romantic past and we run into my ex at the subway and I babble awkwardly and introduce them.

My friend B. and I get snacks and drinks together. I excuse myself to the restroom only to find the toilet overflowing with garbage, including an empty ice cream carton. I have to clean it out some.

I don't remember much of this dream five days later. I remember the woman's body crammed awkwardly in the giant jar, and what the cards looked like. I knew I was going to lose at the card game but I didn't care, which usually isn't the case--I'm not great at games but I hate losing.

I lived in China for almost a year and although it was a perfectly straightforward, prebooked flight home, I couldn't quite believe I'd be able to get back. The character for mountain in the dream was actually pretty accurate.

My brother and I did travel a lot unaccompanied when we were little. Our first solo international flight was when I was five and he was six.

I had been reading about Tom Petty in Rolling Stone before sleeping that night. The guy in my dream wasn't Tom Petty, though. He looked more like Matthew Sweet, who was on the radio a lot when I was hearing Tom Petty for the first time when I was about fourteen.