2/9/10
I was a model for my boss. She asked me if I would play the young ingenue character for fewer photos and less money, and I tried to convince her that I should be the older more sophisticated character. I pulled my hair up and gave her the profile. She was not convinced and I was annoyed.
One of my friends had a violent boyfriend. We were in high school or a carnival, somewhere really crowded. He pulled her long hair and she was frightened. We ran away deep into the school or plaza. We found a lot of people getting ready for a dance performance. There was a little kid in an ostrich costume doing a crazy dance and saying "I haaate feathers!"
I was on the top deck of a boat, or on a rooftop. There were a bunch of nerdy older guys with lots of facial hair wearing Tintin clothes or holding up a book of postcards. I impressed them with my Tintin knowledge.
A big glass room.
I was doing laundry. I recognized a lot of my real clothes, a silvery sweater, pink pajamas. As you did laundry a second tub filled on the floor and you took a bath at the same time. I had to duck under the water to wash my hair.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Monday, February 8, 2010
Apartment; Lost; Sweater
2/8/10
I'm looking at a new apartment. It's enormous. It's in a part of the city I don't know, but I know it's Manhattan. It's furnished like a suburban house, with lots of rooms stuffed with crap and biig soft beds with quilts. I make an offer for it immediately and the old land lady sighs and wonders how anyone could afford it. I'm suddenly freaked out and ask for the price. It's $700 a month. I'm worried about her terrible poverty.
I go out into the city and get confused on the subway.
Will is over and we're making love. In between positions he keeps wanting to talk about sweaters. I'm laughing but exasperated.
I'm looking at a new apartment. It's enormous. It's in a part of the city I don't know, but I know it's Manhattan. It's furnished like a suburban house, with lots of rooms stuffed with crap and biig soft beds with quilts. I make an offer for it immediately and the old land lady sighs and wonders how anyone could afford it. I'm suddenly freaked out and ask for the price. It's $700 a month. I'm worried about her terrible poverty.
I go out into the city and get confused on the subway.
Will is over and we're making love. In between positions he keeps wanting to talk about sweaters. I'm laughing but exasperated.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Monster House; Crappy Sorbet
2/7/10
In a dorm type of house. There's a huge house party going on. I keep trying to fix the lamps. The bulb flickers and dies. I reach down from the top to fix it. I realize that my friend, who is a beautiful girl, is actually some kind of monster. She's a few rooms away. I hurry to shut and lock the doors. The locks are the kind that are a metal lobe that you twist. They're loose in the rotted wood of the old door and I know they won't hold up. I start attacking people myself. I go up to one woman and tell her to get out or I'll bite her. I start to bite her face, her forehead and eyebrows. She struggles.
I'm at an ice cream parlor. I ask for vanilla with heath bars in it. The spunky counter girl gives me a cone with some creepy sorbet with huge chunks of rotting fruit in it. I protest and she says that the other kind was frozen yogurt and she was sure I wouldn't want it.
In a dorm type of house. There's a huge house party going on. I keep trying to fix the lamps. The bulb flickers and dies. I reach down from the top to fix it. I realize that my friend, who is a beautiful girl, is actually some kind of monster. She's a few rooms away. I hurry to shut and lock the doors. The locks are the kind that are a metal lobe that you twist. They're loose in the rotted wood of the old door and I know they won't hold up. I start attacking people myself. I go up to one woman and tell her to get out or I'll bite her. I start to bite her face, her forehead and eyebrows. She struggles.
I'm at an ice cream parlor. I ask for vanilla with heath bars in it. The spunky counter girl gives me a cone with some creepy sorbet with huge chunks of rotting fruit in it. I protest and she says that the other kind was frozen yogurt and she was sure I wouldn't want it.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Young Man Pining; Stone Bull; Skating
2/6/10
I dream about James, a young friend of a friend. He's pining for me. We're in his parents' house, which is also a high class antique store. I play with various knick knacks and look at paintings. I'm really struck by a small sculpture made of jade or agate or some translucent stone. It's of a bull with a long chain wrapped around it. The chain's links are individually carved and you can move it and shake it and pull it tighter. James tries to embrace me. He's holding my arms.
I move to a seat and see Alex. He tells me almost accusingly that he's in love with me too.
I try to get away. I put on roller skates. I'm in the cul de sacs around my neighborhood. The roads are made of polished wood, and there are huge polished wooden gates leading down my road. I push them aside. I skate down the hill and see the smaller gates to my house. I make an elegant turning stop right in front. It's like I have supernatural powers of skating.
I dream about James, a young friend of a friend. He's pining for me. We're in his parents' house, which is also a high class antique store. I play with various knick knacks and look at paintings. I'm really struck by a small sculpture made of jade or agate or some translucent stone. It's of a bull with a long chain wrapped around it. The chain's links are individually carved and you can move it and shake it and pull it tighter. James tries to embrace me. He's holding my arms.
I move to a seat and see Alex. He tells me almost accusingly that he's in love with me too.
I try to get away. I put on roller skates. I'm in the cul de sacs around my neighborhood. The roads are made of polished wood, and there are huge polished wooden gates leading down my road. I push them aside. I skate down the hill and see the smaller gates to my house. I make an elegant turning stop right in front. It's like I have supernatural powers of skating.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Warehouse; Band; Gang; Art
2/4/10
I have a friend visiting--C or S? Some old girl friend. We go through pretty suburban streets to breakfast and a flea market. We get a wooden chair and start to carry it back.
There's a building like a big brick warehouse. A band is playing inside. They're loud and dressed in Black, like The Giraffes. I kiss 3, a friendly hello, I'm very glad to see him. I make fun of his crazy shirt.
The band is great. I can make out all the distinct parts, mostly drums and guitar. The drummer is playing a kit but also a hand held drum shaped like a circle, of transluscent plastic. It makes a beautiful hollow, staccato sound. The young drummer guy is very serious and chastizes the rest of the band for getting off count.
I'm one of a gang of kids. I skateboard across the road at night. I'm going very fast and it's so exciting. I'm proud of how fast I move around the town. Some old lady almost hits me with her slow moving car but I don't care.
At my brother's house and with my father's side of the family. I say something kind of rude to my beloved aunt M. We're all praising the art work of my 3 year old niece. I look for something to prove she's really quite precocious. I find a painting of the brick building across the way. She's drawn everything, the smoke stacks and little trees growing out of the gutter, and all the grafatti painted on the bricks. I can't believe the detail.
I have a friend visiting--C or S? Some old girl friend. We go through pretty suburban streets to breakfast and a flea market. We get a wooden chair and start to carry it back.
There's a building like a big brick warehouse. A band is playing inside. They're loud and dressed in Black, like The Giraffes. I kiss 3, a friendly hello, I'm very glad to see him. I make fun of his crazy shirt.
The band is great. I can make out all the distinct parts, mostly drums and guitar. The drummer is playing a kit but also a hand held drum shaped like a circle, of transluscent plastic. It makes a beautiful hollow, staccato sound. The young drummer guy is very serious and chastizes the rest of the band for getting off count.
I'm one of a gang of kids. I skateboard across the road at night. I'm going very fast and it's so exciting. I'm proud of how fast I move around the town. Some old lady almost hits me with her slow moving car but I don't care.
At my brother's house and with my father's side of the family. I say something kind of rude to my beloved aunt M. We're all praising the art work of my 3 year old niece. I look for something to prove she's really quite precocious. I find a painting of the brick building across the way. She's drawn everything, the smoke stacks and little trees growing out of the gutter, and all the grafatti painted on the bricks. I can't believe the detail.
Disaster; Money; Lamb Chop
2/3/10
L feeds her baby from a plate of pasta in tomato sauce.
I'm in an old wooden house watching Night Of The Hunter. I'm so close to the screen. I'm floating in and out of the action.
There's a disaster. We go into different rooms. The layout is very open, with screens or sheets instead of doors or walls.
Everyone is camped out in closets, cabinets, on top of the stove.
My friend J gave me some money and needs it back. I'm annoyed that he's pressing me and finding excuses.
I'm mad at someone. I sneak off and take a lambchop from a pan full on the stove.
I get the money.
A stately old woman scolds me.
L feeds her baby from a plate of pasta in tomato sauce.
I'm in an old wooden house watching Night Of The Hunter. I'm so close to the screen. I'm floating in and out of the action.
There's a disaster. We go into different rooms. The layout is very open, with screens or sheets instead of doors or walls.
Everyone is camped out in closets, cabinets, on top of the stove.
My friend J gave me some money and needs it back. I'm annoyed that he's pressing me and finding excuses.
I'm mad at someone. I sneak off and take a lambchop from a pan full on the stove.
I get the money.
A stately old woman scolds me.
Pear Photo; Age Of Consent; Parents Dead; Mall
2/2/10
Photographs of pears. There are big, page sized photographs of black and white pears. The grain is very visible.
Waiting to hear back from various guys I'm courting. I meet a handsome blond guy. We start to kiss and soon I pull back and ask him how old he is. He looks very sheepish and I say I don't care as long as he's 18. He still looks sheepish so my friend and I frantically look in books to see what the New York age of consent is. I go out of the room and find myself in China.
I'm at a dinner party. I'm all dressed up in a black gown with sequins at my legs. There's a poetry reading. One of my dear friends from college who disappeared, G, is here. There's a cookie plate and an awkward dinner where we sit at a long table at benches. I find out that everyone's parents are dead.
Going out into the market? It's like an outdoor mall in Beijing. Very colorful and noisy, garbage everywhere. Puffy sneakers and running as fast as I can down the street.
Photographs of pears. There are big, page sized photographs of black and white pears. The grain is very visible.
Waiting to hear back from various guys I'm courting. I meet a handsome blond guy. We start to kiss and soon I pull back and ask him how old he is. He looks very sheepish and I say I don't care as long as he's 18. He still looks sheepish so my friend and I frantically look in books to see what the New York age of consent is. I go out of the room and find myself in China.
I'm at a dinner party. I'm all dressed up in a black gown with sequins at my legs. There's a poetry reading. One of my dear friends from college who disappeared, G, is here. There's a cookie plate and an awkward dinner where we sit at a long table at benches. I find out that everyone's parents are dead.
Going out into the market? It's like an outdoor mall in Beijing. Very colorful and noisy, garbage everywhere. Puffy sneakers and running as fast as I can down the street.
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