Fur Hat; Married

4/5/10

I'm in the country in the dead of winter at night. I'm going from house to house, looking for somewhere I can crash. I'm not too concerned. I remember my friend J is staying at his parents' nice place and said I could come by. I do. It's kind of stodgy and dark, and full of overstuffed furniture and books. I come in for a while and feel a little awkward but it's not bad. There are pets. Dogs and cats. J comes in. He's come back from a trip. He's wearing a big fur hat, like the Orthodox Jews in Williamsburg. He's wearing a fur coat too, so I know he must have come from somewhere cold.

We discuss plans for the future. I realize I don't have things planned out very far and that we should probably get married. I know I'm not too excited about it but it won't be bad. I wonder what it will be like to sleep with him. We kiss and it feels kind of mushy, like wet bread. I'm not impressed.

We're on a boat with lots of his friends. They're nice but I'm mostly thinking I'd like to go back to sleep or be alone.